Mommy, Can I Celebrate Ramadan?

Two years ago, my husband and I made the decision to pull our children out of a hybrid-homeschool community to enroll them in public school. We loved our homeschooling group, but one of the reasons we decided it was time for a change was because we live in one of the most diverse cities in America and my children were not experiencing its full beauty. We wanted the ability to show our children the Christian way through their interactions with different cultures, religions, politics, and backgrounds.

We knew we would be fielding a lot of questions as they started their new school, but there was one I did not anticipate. This week, my first grader asked me if she could celebrate Ramadan with her classmates.

First, what is Ramadan?

Ramadan is a month-long observance of fasting and prayer. It commemorates the gift of the scriptures throughout history beginning with the scrolls of Abraham, the Torah, and the Psalms, then the Gospels and, finally, the Quran. Muslims who are not hindered by illness or other factors, such as pregnancy, are expected to fast from all food and water during daylight hours, increase in their prayers and alms giving, and practice avoiding sin more intentionally in their daily life.

With my children, I often answer their questions with more questions. My first question was what did she know about Ramadan. She didn’t know much except that her friends couldn’t eat or drink at school. So, when I asked my second question of why she wanted to celebrate a season she didn’t understand, her answer helped me better understand her heart. She wanted to be able to sit with her friends at lunch and help them during the day.

She understood that what they were doing was difficult, because we just finished observing Lent.

While we haven’t encouraged our children to fast from meals, we do ask them to prayerfully consider what thing in their life is taking up too much importance (this year it was screen time), and replace it with something God-centered (recommitting to spending quiet times with God daily and observing the Sabbath).

She was also wanting community. Neither of my daughters knew of anyone else in their grades who was observing Lent. In fact, my oldest took her Sunday materials with her to school to teach a friend who attends a Methodist church about Lent. What my daughters are observing during Ramadan is that there is a shared experience and system of support during these holy days. There is a lot to be said for the consistent, outward demonstrations of faith in many of our Muslim neighbors.

After asking those two revealing questions, I finally made a statement: you can be a help to your friends without celebrating their holy days. Here are a few ways we talked about how she could minister to them:

• Show grace and practice patience - Anyone, but especially children, who skips meals will have less energy and be more irritable during the day.

• Replace “that’s weird” with “that’s different” - My daughter heard her friends speak in a different language for the first time as they exchanged traditional Ramadan greetings. They were embarrassed when she asked what they were speaking and what they said. I reminded her to respect their “no’s”, protect their embarrassment, and to never point out that something they do is weird (thanks for that one, Maize).

• Deny your wants - Because they will probably be very tired, her friends might not be as active at recess. I encouraged her to think of ways they could play imaginative or stationary games.

• Share experiences - At home, we talked about ways that Lent and Ramadan are similar and encouraged her to use the similarities to talk about why we, as Christians, fast and pray for 40 days.

• Pray for them - Pray for their interest to be peaked and their hearts pricked when they read accounts from the Torah and Psalms. Pray for opportunities to talk about the Jesus they respect but do not fully understand.

But, like most children with curious minds and strong wills, she persisted in her desire to fast with her friends. And I’m glad she did...