Chicken-Fried Motivation

I’ve mentioned before that I have four children. At the time of this posting, they are one, four, six, and eight-years old. It is both a beautiful and chaotic spread. We were just getting into a groove where we could read chapter books together at night, and they could play somewhat peacefully together during the day (by that I mean for ten-minute stretches...maybe). Then, we added the Baby. Suddenly, it felt like we were starting all over again with our rhythms. The lockdown and virtual school coincided with the newborn-stage. I was trying to meet the individual spiritual and educational needs of each of my children and I felt like each day I was failing. Something had to change.

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Home worship has been an on-again, off-again phenomenon in our family. I love the liturgical calendar, because it feels like each season is an invitation to begin again. Our best stretches of worship always happened at Advent and Lent. The pandemic was an unplanned, unwelcome season. I felt myself needing to find stability in our days. Stability came in the form of lunch - predictable, dependable, chicken-fried lunch. Breakfast was out for us because I am a documented morning grouch. At dinner, anything can happen after a long day. But lunch is a time where everyone needs some quiet and nourishment.

God expanded that time bringing forth connection and creativity. This small discipline spread to other parts of our days and opened us up to more spiritual practices.

Worship began with sitting together and praying. Then, we added a chapter book (The Magician’s Nephew). After I was confident in the chaos-quieting effects of food, we added one catechism question. It’s taped to a door next to our table. At first, we just read it repeat-after-me style. Then we started looking up the passages and talking about God’s Word. God expanded that time bringing forth connection and creativity. This small discipline spread to other parts of our days and opened us up to more spiritual practices.

Our goal is still consistency. But, I can tell you with confidence that my kids really know the first three questions! This series is for me, and it is for you. It is for me to get the ideas down in writing and faithfully move forward. It is for you to experiment with, and see the effects of liturgical discipleship in your home.

Here are some ideas to engage a range of ages together:

• Start small - A 1% change can make a huge difference. Maybe, like me, the first change is to find the anchor in your day when you can gather regularly. Slowly add worship elements to that space of time. Perfectionist friends: you do not have to have this mapped out, laminated, and curated before you can begin. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good here. (Confession, I know my husband is laughing right now, because this is me…)

• Fiercely protect that anchor - Lunch was once a haphazard affair in my house. Now, it happens together on the weekdays as much as possible. It is amazing how much just turning away from the endless to-do list to sit at a table can energize you to lead a short worship time.

• Make it easy - Now that you’re sitting, don’t get up! It will be too tempting to get distracted by that to-do list once you’re looking for something. Whatever you need for your time together, keep it at the table, on the wall, or on a nearby self.

• Teach up - Don’t be afraid of the big words and concepts that are going to come up. Talk about them together, but don’t avoid them. Teach to your older kids and the effects will trickle down. You will be amazed at what your younger ones pick up on.

• Teach down - While you should teach to the older crew, don’t ignore the littles. When they ask a question, let them know that it is a good question and how excited you are that they are listening. And, here’s the best part, employ the older family members to help with the younger activities! Getting your older kids in the practice of sharing what they’ve learned in the safe environment of the home helps them internalize the information and provides them practice for sharing their faith with others.

• Faithfulness is the goal - If you are going to set any goal, let it be faithfulness first and foremost. Understanding and memorization are great goals, but the patterns of faithfulness and genuine faith modeled in daily acts of worship are paramount.

Thank you for joining me in the space. I am praying for the Spirit to breathe life into these meager words, to bring inspiration and revitalization to families, even if it is just for my own crew.